– 17th Sun of the 6th Umbral Moon
And thus the year draws to a close, as the work and company of the last two.
I quit Winds of Hope. My drinking was getting worse, and my temper as well. I needed a break, some time away from all the petty drama that the Company seemed to breed, and away from Reppu.
I care for her still. I have seen her at her sweetest, and I’ve seen the good in her heart, but recently that side of her sees no spotlight. She has become sullen in comparison to what she used to be. Her temper flares as much as mine, and nothing the Company does ever seems to satisfy her. For once I don’t think the Company is at fault so much as she.
So, for now, I am to go it by myself again. I’ve renewed my trades contract with the Immortal Flames. They have a new clause specifically forbidding direct employment under another Grand Company’s Free Company, or something to that affect. I am, honestly, surprised it had not come sooner. Perhaps they did not wish to force a sudden change of contract while it was still active.
I have returned to true metalworking. As much as it pains me, there is little place for an independent engineer with no organisation backing them. So, I am just another in a sea of smithies, plying boring arms and armour. There are no grand machina nor magitek in demand now, and if there were, I doubt my coffers could support endeavours into that field for long without the support of a Free Company.
I feel lost. Lost and alone. While I have friends that remain, I feel I have no family, and no purpose once more. I am stronger than I was before, and I am resolved not to seek the easy escape from this monotony as I once planned to. I simply have to continue. To solider on until the Spinner graces me with a fortunate turn of fate.
I never did like relying on the Twelve.